It’s been quite a time hasn’t it? I haven’t posted a blog since my father in law passed away back in November. For those of you that follow what I do you’ve figured out that my blog is my way of sharing deeper thoughts, expressing a point of view or sharing a detailed story or passion. Which is why I named the page “Passion”. I also don’t share political views or seek to argue. I enjoyed debating in school, but right now, its seems we’ve lost the will and ability to do it. Today, however, I’m probably going to go right up to the line. In today’s climate I might even offend someone out there, but I promise that is not my intention. Anytime we put someone on the defensive, they lose the ability to hear. Hearing loss immediately happens, and it doesn’t come back very easily.
Let me tell you a story of my own hearing loss. Almost 16 years ago I met a man named Terry Spivey. He was not afraid to speak to me about something that I needed to hear. He was also the most unlikely of guys to confront me. I had plenty of people in my life that tried to encourage me after life dealt me a pretty unfair hand, coupled with my own mistakes ( which came easy for me..lol) . I didn’t listen to them. Maybe I figured they were “supposed to tell me those things”. Maybe I just wanted to move on. Whatever the reason, I didn’t respond to their admonitions or attempts at persuading me.
In short, I had moved into another phase of life. The first time Terry approached me was in a church parking lot. Freedom Community church was just getting off the ground. I volunteered to help clean part of the building every other weekend. It fit my “out of town” work schedule. It was also safe and without interaction with people. Plus, I enjoyed it. I have always loved to work with my hands. I moved my mop bucket into our “sanctuary” and saw the guitar that our music leader left on the make shift stage. Assuming I was alone, I entertained myself with a few songs I had written or just wanted to sing for a few minutes.
Later after I finished I was on my way to my car when I heard a voice say “Hello, I’m Terry Spivey”. That conversation lead to many, many more. Terry is not by nature the “outgoing” type. He’s the guy that would much rather work behind the scenes. He became convicted that he had to move outside his comfort zone. He’s not always the most tactful person, but he’s certainly not rude. If you have extremely thin skin, it might be painful at first. I don’t have thin skin. We entertainers get thick skin pretty quick, or we will just quit. As hard as we might try, it’s impossible to please everyone….because, we are all broken and sometimes that broken person is not ready to be reached. That is why you can’t take it personal. You just need to take it back to them later.
Terry asked me one question. “What are you doing with your life?” That’s what I heard. What he really asked was, “What are doing cleaning the building?” Why don’t you volunteer to do something with the music and theater program we have for kids and adults?” “I heard your concert a few minutes ago and it was great, you clearly have a past, would you mind telling me about it?’
I had never met this man until that point, and while I was very nice, I didn’t feel like answering his question. I gave him the classic passive/aggressive blow off, got in my car and drove home. My wife Sandi and I joined a small group later that was lead by, yes, you guessed it, Terry Spivey. Small groups are just people that want to gather once a week or as often as we decide, talk about our faith, pray, but most of all, be real with each other. Life is not about the photo opt, although I love sharing the good times… we all do, and there’s nothing wrong with that…..but we know life is hard… I liked Terry, but the funny thing is, we were nothing alike, yet, we had unshakable core beliefs that brought us together ( interesting concept isn’t it?). Then as time moved on, we found many things we agreed on, enjoyed, and had in common. Funny how that works, if you give it time.
I remember telling Sandi on our way home from one of our first small group meetings that I liked that guy but I’d probably never be able to “drink a beer with him”…..(as we say in the south) Meaning, he probably wouldn’t become a close friend. Well, I was wrong. Very wrong. Terry Spivey shared a book with us in our small group called “The Dream Giver”. That book helped change my mind about why I was here and helped me understand my feelings. Being a person of faith, believing in an after life, and trying to figure out why I felt the way I did, and what I needed to do with my life was paramount to really moving forward. The way it was communicated to me through the book, helped lead me to a better place.
Terry and I have had many conversations since we started working together. We’ve learned a lot from each other. He wanted to be a manager. He wanted to do something better. He wanted to be a part of something. He has dreams too. I could make a list of things that I’ve been able to accomplish, not by myself but because I decided to do what he was pushing me to do. Don’t ever give up on your dream. It’s not yours. It was given to you by the God that created you, to do as you choose. I know, I know some of you don’t believe that and it’s ok. I’d love for you to change your mind, but it’s your choice.
We made choices this past year too didn’t we? Some of us chose to share our feelings in many different ways and I believe we’ve been manipulated more than usual by some of the “powers that be”…..it’s above my pay grade as to the how, etc…but it’s easy to see, don’t you think? You and I both know that’s true. It’s been an amazingly tough time on every level for our generation whatever plans and hopes we had for 2020 were changed…
Like many of you, I was excited about the year. Then, Covid-19, followed by a storm of other things that lead us to a place where nothing, and I mean, nothing wasn’t politicized. I jokingly told a friend that the pair of socks I put on yesterday could possibly have an underlining political meaning that I was totally unaware of…:) Seriously, though, it’s been tough on all of us. Terry and I doubled down on what we have in common. We wanted to “do something”. I do not believe in the word “no”, very often. There has to be something good or what are we doing? At the end of the day, What. Are. You. Doing?
That’s not a pleasant question to asked. It puts you on the defensive. Can cause hearing loss….but you know, the question still needs to be asked, doesn’t it? That’s one reason why I love Terry. He’s never been afraid to asked the hard question. He never wants to “hurt your feelings” either. He wants you to succeed, or he wouldn’t asked the question!
So, fast forward to the here and now. I adjusted my plans. Y’all know I represent one of ( and to me) the best companies in the world. I love good food, and I love promoting Coneuch Sausage. I wrote a jingle for it too you know:)…..this is yet, another thing that probably wouldn’t have come true if Terry Spivey had not asked the hard questions. We decided to do 1st Responder events, go to grocery stores, blood drives, do multiple ads, work where we could, with who we could, during this pandemic, and do it safely and within the guidelines of wherever we went. It has been both successful and fulfilling. It has also kept me sane.
The irony is this…Terry wasn’t on the road. He worked behind the scenes. Terry contracted Covid. Terry is the healthiest 57 year old I know. He’s not overweight, no health conditions, exercises, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink ( only if I can find a beer he likes:) and is the general picture of health..He hasn’t been around big crowds. He wore a mask at the grocery store, etc. His chances of getting this, were slim to none. Yet he did…then it got worse. It’s been a nightmare experience for the family and for friends. Covid has caused a serious infection in Terry’s lungs.… It just is what it is. It’s a micro organism that found it’s way into my friend’s body and it’s giving him the hardest battle he’s physically faced.
Terry’s a fighter. We are praying that he will walk out of that hospital. We need Terry to keep asking the hard questions. Terry and I had multiple conversations about how we’d approach living our lives through this crisis. I know for certain he would want you to Live. Your. Life. If you are not living…..then, what are you doing? That doesn’t mean you don’t go about it the right way….and it also doesn’t mean there won’t be risk. Living requires it. We know this…we just sometimes don’t want to say it out loud. Plus, we have each other. If you’re a believer in Jesus, then, that “Love your Neighbor” thing is not a suggestion. It’s a way of life.
We set up a page called “Prayers for Terry Spivey”on Facebook. If you’d like to find out more feel free to do so. The family has also set up a gofund me account. Terry’s circumstances are unique to say the least. For example, he had to be life-flighted to another hospital in Macon, Ga that had an ecmo machine for further treatment. I can tell you this, Terry would not like the attention. The thing is, he’s helped so many behind the scenes that it’s our turn….
I hope as we move forward, we can once again debate, laugh, love, disagree, agree to disagree, and get our hearing back, our love for our country, our friends, our families, and each other …it’s a tall order. It’s going to require us to open up to the hard questions, and it’s going to require….”the doing” Hope y’all have a great weekend…and it’s one day closer to the light.
Love you, love you Big