I love stories. Real stories. The kind of stories that give insight to how you feel, what you’ve experienced and what you’ve learned along the way. Those stories give way to find little things that sometimes weigh more in importance as life unfolds. When I was born, my great grandmother gave my mom a poem titled, “Blue Eyed Baby Boy”. I do have blue eyes and like most of us, our eyes are naturally the first thing we lock into when we arrive. But this blog is not about me, or the fact that my eyes are blue, and I’m certain you will have your own version of why “little things” can mean more down the road.
I haven’t written a blog in a while and the truth is, I didn’t know how I wanted to share this or if I did at all. The thing is, we are all in the same line at some point. I thumb through my newsfeed and see many of my friends and their friends going through similar or even the same version of the same fight. It never ends. I’m always hoping when I share something, especially something personal, it might be encouraging. This is a tribute to the person who brought me and my brother into this world. He received a poem too by the way:)
Last year, our mom had surgery to remove a cancerous tumor. In short, it was extensive, and she is going through cancer treatments and everything that comes with it. For her, and the type of cancer she has, it’s a hard battle. This past Christmas was spent in the hospital and prior to that, several visits to the emergency room. She is not a quitter. Never has been. She has passed on to us an attitude of always striving to see the upside because in her words, “If you can’t see yourself doing well at what you’re trying to do, you won’t”. She wanted us to have confidence and humility, and she was pretty tough when we were growing up. Big on good manners. Big on politeness, kindness, faith, and all the things mothers try so hard to instill. My brother and I are grateful. She has lived her faith and she still is doing so. We are blessed to have her.
There are times all of us feel frustration, resentment, and just the feeling of depression when we see someone, we love so much suffering. Our minds are able to rationalize what’s going on, but in regard to the emotional rollercoaster, we have no immunity. It is going to happen. So, what is the upside? If you’re like me and you haven’t had a health battle on this level, then, it’s hard to really know. We are simply getting a front row seat, and trying to do our part to love and support the one who is sick. Imagine every day of your life you feel the worst you’ve ever felt times a thousand, and you’re only looking for the next “moment” you can have some type of relief. How could you possibly find anything to be positive about?
I’ve learned something over the last few months about my mom. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not perfect. She’s made mistakes. She’s a human being. She would be the first to tell you so. The great equalizer is the power of love. There’s a verse you might remember that says, “love covers a multitude of imperfections”. It most certainly does. I can also tell you that its power takes us to new levels. When I’m working, naturally I check in every time I know she might be having any kind of better day. I call dad first, then asked the question, “Is she up for a call today?” I can tell you with everything she is dealing with, she doesn’t want to talk to me about herself. She wants to talk about what I’m doing, what Sandi’s doing, and how I’m doing, and how our family is doing, and always ending with “Go do it well”.
Like you, I’ve had questions along the way about various things, but I have never questioned our mother’s love for us, her love for others, and her love for the best of life, or her faith. Whatever your faith and beliefs may be, it is best served when serving others while trying to do your best at what you do. While the emotional rollercoaster rolls on, I have witnessed the upside. She is still finding the positive by looking beyond herself and trusting in her faith even as she fights this battle. To say that this is inspirational is an understatement. It’s a legacy you can’t pay for, and you can’t put into words. It’s powerful.
My great grandmother was a strong, positive woman too. She was a bit more “tackless in words” (lol) but very loving. That poem “Blue Eyed Baby Boy” is at my mom and dad’s house. The color blue is something I gravitated towards. It’s my favorite color. I feel and look my best when I wear it. My mom loves it too. It’s a simple thing she subtly waved in my direction as a kid, much like the teams we pull for or a favorite meal. We all have those favorite “this or that’s”, but every now and then, those simple things have deeper meanings. A foreshadowing of sorts. The color blue symbolizes open spaces, freedom, imagination, inspiration, and loyalty. Its personality is calmness. It also symbolizes a deep faith and trust. My mom has all of those things, and we aspire to follow. For others dealing with your own battles, I pray you find the upside. We will pray for each other, and I’ll wear my favorite color now with those thoughts in mind.
Love Big